At orientation, in your goals, and in various places in these Threads, you guys have talked about Telling Stories. News writing, certainly sportswriting (and copy editing, hi, Sergio!) is informational at its core, but the heart of it is, or has potential to be, storytelling.
For DQ #5, Please read (below) these very brief examples of daily news story tops that use a storytelling approach. Either comment on them, or tell us about an example of storytelling—even a few phrases or grafs here and there in a news story—that you have been able to do—or that you would like to do.
Thinking questions:
-- What do we need to turn a news story into a storytelling story?
-- Can we do this with daily local news stories? (Obvious answer from examples below, yes!… but HOW? What do we need to think about? Find? Try? Overcome?)
Ex. 1: Story on long-time postal worker retiring: Chips Quinn intern Cindy Santos, Summer 2006:
After nearly a half-century of delivering letters, Walter Benson on Wednesday turned in his mail satchel for the last time.
“This is it,” Benson said, handing over his U.S. Postal Service identification badge, keys and government-issued credit card to Salinas Postmaster Irma Solis-Smith.
“An era is gone,” Solis-Smith said.
Ex. 2: Top to story about funeral of a firefighter killed earlier in the week when a gunman opened fire at a Wendy’s restaurant: Jerome Burdi, South Florida Sun-Sentinel.
Here’s how to remember Lt. Ray Vazquez: He was married to a woman who stole his heart, his children adored him and a league of firefighters considered him an inspiration.
The funeral for the Palm Beach County Fire-Rescue lieutenant Friday at Cruzan Amphitheatre brought more than 1,000 firefighters from across the state to say goodbye to the man who kept a human touch in a job filled with a succession of car crashes, medical calls and fires.
So remember him for that, speakers at the funeral said, not for his untimely death when a man shot him in the back for no apparent reason Monday at a Wendy’s restaurant west of West Palm Beach.
“Today we are here to celebrate life,” Lt. Mark Knickerbocker said.
Ex. 3: Top to a court sentencing of a 16 year old girl who pleaded guilty to shooting a classmate: Anne Saker, Oregonian:
This summer, Pauline Sue Brooks became a felon.
Then she gave birth to a daughter.
On Monday, she went to prison.
On Wednesday, she turns 16.
Brooks of Southeast Portland received a five-year sentence in Multnomah County Circuit Court for a gang-related shooting last November in which Brooks fired a gun into the chest of a 13-year-old girl. Her long hair knotted on top of her head, her body clad in shapeless black sweats, Brooks faced Circuit Judge Alicia Fuchs to accept a punishment negotiated with the district attorney.
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I’m glad to see storytelling as one of the discussion questions because, like Mary Ann said, it plays an important part in what we do. It ties us closer to the story, giving us a connection to the people affected - whether that be in a positive or negative way. Stories that merely state facts and figures may give us the information we need, but it does little to show us emotional impact.
With that said, I thought the second example did a great job of tying in the “Who, what, where, when, why and how” with the details of the funeral. It was done pretty much seamlessly and that’s a major challenge for writers. We all want to be informative and interesting at the same time, but being able to put all those pieces together takes time and practice.
The first two grafs of the second example laid the background information; it was almost like an introduction. But I think Jerome nailed it in the third graf:
“So remember him for that, speakers at the funeral said, not for his untimely death when a man shot him in the back for no apparent reason Monday at a Wendy’s restaurant west of West Palm Beach.”
For a second there I thought it was Jerome speaking to me, which made it a very direct statement. But he attributed it to the speakers at the funeral - and with the first two grafs backing up the statement - it creates a very powerful image of the mourners at the funeral and more importantly, the kind of man Lt. Ray Vazquez was. Well done.
The third example also caught my attention. It took a different approach from the second one, but made a similar impact. When I read the first line, I thought, “OK, let’s see what happens.” Then the second, “Wow, this is getting good.” And by the third and fourth lines, I was like, “Oh, $&#!”. It reminded me of a story I did in college. I can’t remember the details exactly, but much like this one there was a lot of “shock and awe” information, and instead of saving it and spreading it out throughout the story, I just piled it up on top. And most of the time it works, just like it did here. I also like the last graf where she ties in the “5 Ws and H” with some concrete details about her sentencing. Pauline’s storytelling here is an excellent example of writing to grab the reader’s attention early.
Every now and then I take a shot with a storytelling approach, and for the most part, it’s worked out for me. Two of the three stories my editor praised me for the most were done with storytelling. And though I hate following the two examples above with my own, here it is:
It’s a story about an architect in Saratoga who was honored with an exhibit of his work at the Saratoga History Museum.
His mark is all over Saratoga.
His vision, his creation and his legacy is in almost 1,000 residential and commercial buildings in this city, but most people wouldn’t even know it.
And as he approaches 84 years of life and 50 years of work, architect Warren Heid is still on the job.
I think storytelling is a very strong and difficult part of the story. Storytelling has the power to take your mind to a different world, scenario or situation. It helps your mind imagine things with an anecdote, a piece of information that stands out or simply by describing feelings. Storytelling draws the reader quickly into the story and it’s harder to put it down.
I like the example about the mailman, it really helped recreate what was going on at the moment he decided to retire. On the second example you can really start thinking about the many ways we should remember that man who was shoot instead of making a typically cops story the writer decides to take the approach of describing the qualities that really made him a human being. Emotions and the human side of the story are very important elements of storytelling and I think all these examples show that.
I would like to write like that more often, but that requires a lot of practice and talent.
For a second there I thought it was Jerome speaking to me ... (in #3), I read the first line, I thought, “OK, let’s see what happens.” Then the second, “Wow, this is getting good.” And by the third and fourth lines, I was like, “Oh, $&#!” ... .
I love Chris’s description of the EFFECT the storytelling has on him as a reader, in both Cop Funeral and Pauline. I think that reaction on the part of the reader is what storytelling is all about, no? Also, Chris, really nice job with the old architect. The story element Chris mines here is the guy’s staying power, his legacy. It’s everywhere (i.e., it’s bigger than the guy himself). V. nice.
I would like to write like that more often, but that requires a lot of practice and talent.
Ana hits on an important thinking and learning point: Good storytelling requires SKILL, and a sense of ownership of the factual material. Yes, that takes practice and talent. But it’s also good for reporters at your guys’ stage to think about little baby-step ways that you can bring those narrative/story-telling details into a more traditional news story: A phrase here, an image there, recording a tiny piece of DIALOG rather than quoting someone talking to the reporter…
Like the old joke goes:
Q: “Hey—How do you get to Carnegie Hall?”
A: “Practice, practice, practice...”
I agree with Chris on how happy I was to see this as a discussion question. Storytelling has become a normal way of writing game stories, profiles or anything related to sports. It was a change of styles for me.
As my editor told me, “People know the stats by the time they read your copy. You need to give them something to relate to, or something that goes beyond the stats.”
That was tough for me because I was used to my stories being driven by stats. Although changing my style has given me a new set of eyes, in that, I see the games differently. Now I am not relying on stats. I look for key plays, emotions from the bench or try to find a theme rather than write the boring, “This players scored 30 points and led his team to victory.” When I looked at my previous writing, I realized how boring and “robotic” it was.
I feel story telling gives writers and readers a curve ball/change of pace. Rather than read about an issue, you can tell the story of a person who is directly affected by it. Instead of people being turned off to the subject they may recognize the name or person and connect to the story. That’s my thinking. Whether there are stats to back it up, I don’t know.
Ex. 3 was an eye opening introduction. It was hiding vital information. When you first read the led, as a reader you assume this is a grown woman because of the way Saker describes her, but then she hits you in the mouth. BAM!
“On Monday, she went to prison.
On Wednesday, she turns 16.”
Following that, Baker gives the details of what got the girl into jail. Compared to the normal approach where you could have said, “A 16 year old girl was put in jail.” I feel this was a great changeup. I was awe struck when I read she was 16. The author did a wonderful job of keeping the reader interested, and I’ll admit I looked for the rest of the story.
Thinking questions:
-- What do we need to turn a news story into a storytelling story?
Any story can be turned into a storytelling story. Storytelling as Mary Ann stated requires the writer to have vast knowledge of the subject matter, so they can find someone or something that people can relate to.
This can happen daily, but I feel you must judge which stories would need a face for people to relate to. All stories can be written this way, but I feel you need to keep a balance.
-- Can we do this with daily local news stories? (Obvious answer from examples below, yes!… but HOW? What do we need to think about? Find? Try? Overcome?)
See above answer. Sorry, I got lazy.
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Any story can be turned into a storytelling story ... This can happen daily, but I feel you must judge which stories would need a face for people to relate to. ...
Great point, Carlos—some stories—even tho’ they can be turned into storytelling—really should remain purely informational. It would be silly, for example, to say:
The legislators paused under the cerulean sky, some of them turning to look at the city below, as they stepped into session today.
“I would rather be boating,” said Sen. Ron Grimsby to fellow lawmaker Pete Jones as the two men ambled into the chamber that seemed dark compared to the world outside.
They were about to vote on whether the drinking age for Florida youth should be lowered from 21 to 18.
When it was all over that day, when the votes were counted, Grimsby’s 19-year-old son Mike had something to smile about....
(I know… I missed my calling....)
What the examples have in common is that they all paint a picture for the reader to see. The descriptive words are essential in pulling this off. The story on the postal worker has a a dramatic tone to it, but it works. The firefighter story is compelling in that it focuses on his life rather than on his tragic death. The reporter avoided the trap of starting the story with something to the effect of, “on this day, so and so was killed after being shot in the back...”. The third example, is definitely my favorite. The method the reporter uses works especially well because the sentences are so direct and powerful that they provide a shock element.
Turning a news story into a storytelling story is not as hard as it sounds. You just have to dig into your creative side and come up with a unique way of capturing your audience.
To do this with local daily stories you should find ideas by reading other stories. You should try different writing styles. What may not work for one story may work for another. Finally, you should overcome the fear of experimenting with your writing. Great stories may surface after you let go of your inhibitions.
The essence of storytelling is humanizing a story. All three of the stories both speak about what type of person is featured in the story, and gets into their own persona and characteristics to help describe the issue at hand in the story.
I agree with Carlos Editor; information and statistics alone do not make the story. As a writer I have to relate to the reader as a person to make the story more impactful. That is why I try to write anecdotal leads as a means to get into a human side of the story easy and quickly.
Storytelling is often paying attention to small details that most people forget to pay attention. The mailman totebag as a symbol for his retirement is what starts the story. Keeping a sharp eye for those details can go a long way.
Finally, you should overcome the fear of experimenting with your writing. Great stories may surface after you let go of your inhibitions.
MARTHA MAKES ANOTHER GOOD POINT!!!
Oftentimes it is fear of trying, of doing something different (fear of failing???) that keeps us from experimenting, stepping beyond the bounds of what is expected. This is a great point, and if you feel you have a good storytelling story, talk it over with your editor (or with us in the Threads) to get support and to bounce the idea/approach off of.
Sometimes that’s all that’s needed: the support of someone who believes in your idea, and who has the skill to help you make it work… Don’t be afraid to ask, whether editor or Thread-buddies, or both.
The mailman totebag as a symbol for his retirement is what starts the story. Keeping a sharp eye for those details can go a long way.
Matthew et al: YES to the above. Sometimes a single detail or image—locating it, mining it—can be the beginning of the story beneath the reporting ..... good points, all. Please share examples, all of you, of stuff you have done that illustrates this…
For example, a while back our own Ana did a preview story on a bicycle-ride fundraiser. This was her story top:
Last year, Marianne Ronay did a 100-mile ride bike around Ventura wearing a grass skirt and shell bra.
“As soon as I saw the word costume’ in the invitation I said, I’m in,’” said Ronay, a 47-year-old nurse practitioner.
This year, Ronay will be dressed as a “Biker Babe” when she joins about 300 people bicycling in the third annual Mardi Gras Century ride on Feb. 23. The event raises money to rebuild homes lost during Hurricane Katrina and for other charities.
Notice how the small (but important) detail of the skirt and the shell brings people in.... she paints a picture of something that happened last year to open the window onto the bike marathon this year, which could have been a typical “next week riders from all over the county will compete in a ....” kind of thing.
Story telling has to be the most difficult part of the writing process. It is the most crucial because it’s what will keep the readers coming back to your particular stories.
I recently read an ESPN story (http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/080312) about a star high school football player’s funeral. He was gunned down last week by Latino gang members who asked him what gang he was from. When he didn’t answer, they shot and killed him anyway.
I have to tell you, the whole nation probably ran updates of this boy’s story, heck I even edited a few of them, but the story that the ESPN writer wrote kept my eyes glued to the computer monitor.
This is the lead:
On Tuesday afternoon, I witnessed a superhuman act of strength. We were gathered inside the West Angeles Cathedral on Crenshaw Boulevard, a mammoth facility with a balcony and video screens that’s like a concert hall crossed with a place of the Lord.Only a few funerals each month happen here, mostly for Los Angeles celebrities and people with ties to the church. For Johnnie Cochran’s funeral two years ago, every one of the cathedral’s 5,000 seats was famously filled. It’s the type of place you wouldn’t expect to see a 17-year-old kid lying peacefully in a coffin, not unless he was related to a singer or a politician or something. But that’s who was there, and that’s who we came to see.
I was glued from the beginning. The reference about the concert hall and the place of the lord was good.
...When nobody picked up Jas’ phone within a few seconds, it dawned on Jamiel Sr. that his son could have reached the neighborhood already. He darted out his front door and right into his worst nightmare—the sight of his innocent son laying on the sidewalk, the sound of a getaway car speeding away. ...He looked like Dwyane Wade, smiled like Magic Johnson and ran like a young Barry Sanders. For the past year, his teammates and his community looked up to No. 4. Tuesday, they looked down on him. He was lying peacefully, like the way his father found him. And for three hours, a number of people spoke and tried to make sense of what happened, but, really, nobody did until the minister mentioned something in his eulogy: the “irony” of Jas’ mother “fighting terrorism on foreign soil, and lo and behold, street terrorism is right here.”
I have to admit, I have edited stories that lose me from the lead and I have read stories that are exciting - this was one of them. The main thing about storytelling is that it has to lure people otherwise no one is going to pay attention.
...When nobody picked up Jas’ phone within a few seconds, it dawned on Jamiel Sr. that his son could have reached the neighborhood already. He darted out his front door and right into his worst nightmare—the sight of his innocent son laying on the sidewalk, the sound of a getaway car speeding away. ...He looked like Dwyane Wade, smiled like Magic Johnson and ran like a young Barry Sanders.
Lovely. Really great. Thanks, Sergio.
Guys: Here is MA’s weekly Tip for Good Journalism:
Read through these postings. Read carefully, study, the beautiful examples of good storytelling that are in these posts. Sergio’s example above is a great one, as are many that you guys posted early on in LEDES (Matthew’s Super Bowl example comes to mind off the top of my head.)
It is in the reading, recognizing, studying (how did the reporter do that? What did it take? What was the effect? How can I do....) that your own craft will grow immeasurably, way beyond how it would if you were merely churning stories and not taking the time out to think/enjoy/learn/ scour.
Keep the beautiful examples comin’ for all of us to learn from.
Folks—this is great counsel from Carlos. Choose a writer you like, at your paper, at SI, at wherever, and read them. Study them. How do they do what they do? What can you do to get on a path to being able to do yourself?
