the big type

 

why

asked buzz the bee

why do they call

them headlines

when the folks

who write them

fail to use

their heads

 

it was

double round time

at the double bar bar

and buzz was still on his newspaperly

rant

 

this time we were talking about

newspaper sins

of the biggest type

 

buzz was doubly grumbled

about the washingly post

which had just taken an ax

to anglo saxon

by using the words

fealty and comity

in front page headlines

 

indeed

said i

headlines should

tell and sell

not put us through

dictionary hell

 

boss

before we knew it

we were both spouting

streams of irritating

headline words

 

herewith is my report

of that twisted

conversation

 

buzz spoke first

disaster looms

he said

headlines lag

i agreed

readers revolt

newspaper bosses

launch probes

and cut ties

 

buzz knit his brow

what sparks

this controvery

he queried

what fuels

this frenzy

 

i answered

top editor eyes

copy desk

with plans

to flay

hit

slap

rip

and

zap

 

buzz again

launched

a query

what stirs

this crackdown

why grill the desk

 

grill

i exploded

tis far worse

a row

a clash

a bust

a bash

a blast even

 

but what

burped buzz

what spurs this move

on those who toil

 

a sordid saga

with a tinge of irony

i replied

and yet somehow

a moot issue

 

moot

squinted the

beery eyed bee

 

more than moot

i opined

curbed

aired

moved

and said to be done

 

the top boss

will pounce tonight

this newspaper s

woes he eyes

as ongoing

 

but why

buzz whined

why will he pounce

and pinch

why does our future

debut tonight

why do the

fates and

fireworks and

dark clouds

loom

 

buzz busted out laughing

please

oh please

he begged

tell me

what

rap is this

that eyes no

mitigation

 

i smiled

why buzz my friend

mr editor says

we have

a fatal case

of

headlinese

 

-- bernie