i lose my head

once in a far flung former life

i served as the bearer of news

in the court of louis katorze

 

his kingly last name was

just a highfallutin way

of saying he was

the fourteenth louie

or thereabouts

to run france

 

your most excellent regalness

i said one day

to aka xiv

 

c est moi

it is i

bernard

le bearer of tidings

from afar

 

bernard

said he

c est toi

it is thee

 

yes yes i agreed

c est moi

it is i

 

and boss

we c est moi d

and c est toi d each other

till we both near fell over

but then

that s just how it was

back then

 

what goodly news bernard

quoth the king

what high ho

what harbinger of happiness

what glad tidings

what wonders

from afar

 

suddenly boss

the quicksand of my soul gave way

and there stood i

waist deep in doom impending

to tell or not to tell

hell s a fire

and i am toast

 

your most excellent exaltedness

said i

i beg your pardon

but my news today

is slightly less than

the most perfect news

 

in fact

my regal roi

my kindly king

it is not

so hot

at all

 

and boss

i began to sing

 

oh the hanky panker in the court

is the one who shares your bed

the common folk down south

want food

and your neighbors

want you dead

 

now

old number fourteen was a fair fellow

more reasonable than most

but even a great and loving lord

with a big rig wig

can have

a

bad

hair

day

 

quel insect

he cried

cursing me with the specter

of lives to come

thou lowly cafard

thou blatte

those being the popular frenchly terms

for cockroach

 

now boss i don t know

if it was my imagination

or if old ten and four really did turn

the color of his roi ly robes

but before i could say

i m just the messenger

i was dragged by the neck

for in those days i had one

to the block where

anyone who ruffled his roi ness

in a serious way

left without

a head

 

as i waited

and waited

and waited

for the swiftly fall of the ax

i thought of

bearers of bad tidings

as a general lot

 

down down down it came

to borrow a line from poe

who actually hadn t written it yet

and i thought of sophocles

a friend from many lives before

who said

and i quote

no one likes

the bringer

of bad news

 

down still down came the ax

poe again

and i wished i was

old benjamin harris

famed colonial publisher

whose puritan bosses

banned ben s paper

for printing unsightly news

about my own king louie

 

parenthesis

ben s news was that france s

regal roi

was fond of making royal whoopie with his son s wife

ben lost his paper

but kept his head

end parenthsis

 

down down that ax drew nearer

and i imagined

the many souls through the ages

including today

which back then would have been the future

whose lot it was

to deliver the news

in all its unsightliness

and who were and are

ipso facto

despised

reviled

called thou lowly media carfard

abused

assailed

condemed

curtailed

banned

burned

spat upon

and in at least one case

i personally know of

be

headed

 

now boss

remembering the words

of sophocles

might have saved my human head that day

but i m not so sure

 

the truth

even if unsightly

has a way of being heard

and so

heralds who lie

suffered my fate

all the same

beheaded if you do

beheaded if you don t

 

my friend simon

told me one day

he had a better way

 

he said he planned to start

a newspaper

bearing only good

and happy news

about the antly race

not one jot

of unsightliness

if you don t have anything good to say

simon says

say nothin at all

 

simon said i

that s what preachers are for

good news for the faithful

but as creatures whose lot it is

to get along in this world

we need the unsightly truth

even if we don t like it

 

folks will always put more money

in the media s collection plate

than they will the church s

 

we may hope for the best

but we fear the worst

and in the end

we need to know

if the worst

is getting

too close

for comfort

 

-- bernie